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Finding Balance
- 'Those that live by the sword, die by the sword': those who think sexual interaction is some kind of game that they are trying to win against their partners are building a deep and lengthy drama of pain and misery for themselves. For some, this self-inflicted pain can be an unconscious form of punishment for past wrongs (either in a personal or collective sense) and perhaps to face themselves in others who are playing the same game. Sexuality as a game has been glamorized by the American media - the economy of consumption supports numerous forms of addiction and compulsion.
- 'Desire, when forbidden or ignored, increases beyond all reason': (paraphrase of the old 'Kung Fu' series). This is the other side of the last point. Sexuality is one of the greatest challenges our Soul faces in earthly life. In order to meet this challenge we must honestly face, process and creatively integrate all of the elements of personality, including emotions, fantasies and dreams. Forced celibacy is like dieting: if done without the consent of the whole person, it can backfire and cause exagerated, out of control behavior.
- The morality of casual sex: At some point in the downward spiral of our loss of connection with our Purpose / Source, 'getting laid' by a beautiful/handsome stranger can seem like the ultimate goal of life. Such a condition, for me, is best viewed, not with contempt or judgement, but with compassion (many people in this situation are rebelling against restrictive or ignorant attitudes or abusive situations from their past) and respectful distance (I may be willing to forgive or help to rehabilitate a criminal, but I am not going to volunteer to be their victim). Having fun, being relaxed, developing acceptance for yourself and your relationships with others, even taking a chance on a spontaneous attraction are fine. None of these requires sexual intercourse (especially unprotected). Having sex with strangers who remain strangers afterwards is self-destructive and usually destructive of the other person as well - but danger is attractive to some people. Just make sure you are not violating someone else's right to choose - that's when it crosses from your own lifestyle choice to self justification for psychopathic and criminal (rape) behavior. Each person must make their own decisions and live with their own conscience. At some point that can include getting away from people or situations that are threatening your own ability to choose.
- Spiritual connection is incredibly sexy: it is the essence of the sexual act. Stay connected to God and your Soul's Purpose for being here and you will find other empowered Souls to connect with on all levels and discover new levels of emotional and sexual fulfillment. Be patient in finding the right partners for all your intimate interactions, both friends and lovers. At the same time, realize that how you treat those that challenge you has a major effect on how well you get along with those that make you feel good. (expressed in Christ's admonition: 'As you do unto the least of my brethren, you do to me'). Translation: as you achieve higher levels of balance and integration in your own life, you will be called upon to exercise tolerance and compassion for the challenges others face. Spiritual life is connected with intention: if you are seeking to love others, even if you make a mistake or are temporarily misunderstood, you will have further opportunities to make it right. On the other hand, if you think you can fool the Universe by tricking yourself or other people into believing you are other than you are, you will learn in time.